11/07/09 Saturday

today is da 1st day without them here... both mum n i still miss them a lot... to prevent mum from thinking bout them so badly i made her bz...

from morning we went to da market... then i took her for a dim sum bfast... in da afternoon we went for lunch at my fav place, LnF wiv my 3 aunts...












then we went to bworth n bukit minyak... we went to visit my cousin, simon... went to his fashion house at krico n bought mum 2pcs of tops... da clothes there are not bad n wat make tis fashion house unique is their clothes only come in 1 pattern 1 size each... n their clothes are imported from korea...






















next to da fashion house is another shop owned by simon n his partners... tis shop sells GPS n various types of computer accessories...








simon took us to batu kawan for dinner... we had nice seafood at ah yan restaurant... da seafood there is delicious n not expensive... surely will go again...














basically everybody was tired by da time we reached home... mum slept early... hope i drew her attention a bit from missing kei kei...

sweet memories...

hard day...

i've been keeping myself bz since tis morning... i was in fact very bz n tat actually helped... i wasn't thinking much bout tomoro...

but now i juz can't concentrate on my work anymore... tried so hard not to think... everything seems to be out of my control now... tears came rolling down my cheek nonstop... i told myself to stop it... feel so down now...

i even planned to change da wallpaper on my pc desktop n mobile phones... i juz realised tat no matter wat picture i apply is related to them... scenery pictures of cameron highlands where we went on our 1st family trip for instance... really hard to live my life without them...

from tomoro onwards life is not goin to b easy... for me... for mum... sigh...

them...

here comes wednesday 08/07/09... happy belated 2nd anniversary to my bro n sis in law...

2 days away from 10/07/09... tat day will b 1 of da saddest days in my entire life... anyway life goes on... i'll b counting down to da day of their return... without da little monster home will b a rather quiet place... looking at her toys is such a pain...

she has been 1 of my best buddies since 2001... she knows practically everything bout me... my crushes... my relationships... everything... n whenever there's anything we'd hangout to tell each other bout our probs... not having her here after tis is like something important missing from my life... :-(

hope they r happy wiv their husband n daddy...

messed up...

been thinkin of wat to write today... my mind has been so messed up wiv so many things...

there will be a big change in my life from 10th july 2009 onwards... tis change is a 2nd big change after 11th nov 2008... no matter wat life goes on n i know tis change is da most suitable decision ever... a child should grow up wiv her parents by her side at all time...

sometimes i ask myself whether i'm being too cruel as i never looked bec at those days... but isn't tis wat i shld do... never live in da past but look forward to da future... i had my happy times but i juz can't recall those days anymore... n i never regretted i made tat decision to end da 4yrs rship... ever since then i saw wat my priority is...

i dunno y recently i got myself messed up wiv unnecessary things which i know i'm not supposed to... i dunno my existence into certain ppl's lives is something to be treasured or juz another freak messing around... some ppl think tat whatever i do comes wiv a motive... if caring for someone is considered a motive then there's no such thing as family, friendship, true love, sincerity n loyalty on tis place named earth, isn't it... i juz wanna be there whenever they needed someone to talk to, or merely a listener... i juz wanna be there to share their ups n downs... it's suffering to carry da burden urself so y not let me share wiv u... well maybe i'm really not needed n my existence into their lives is something tat gets on their nerves... if tat so, fine, tell me n i shall buzz off...

it's hard to keep on smiling n laughing when u r actually crying inside... i think i'm emotionally n mentally tired... life has never been so torturing n stressful... ya i'm messed up.... :-(

me...

i like tis pic very much... dunno y... hehe...



me n a real puppy... celine n little apple...



my best buddy, renee n i...



my best buddy plus colleague, mashi n i...

getting started here...

i've always wanna start blogging... but for a pc idiot like me i find it a bit confusing to manage my blog... wiv all da settings... layout... huhh... sweat...

thank God i have my best buddy in rescue... thanx to RENEE... hehe...

tis blog is mainly for some frens of mine whom care bout me n wish to know wat has been goin on wiv me... so to tis fren, in specific, maybe after tis u dun have to ask me wat my posts in msn mean... juz visit my blog n u'll get da answer...

ok... i shall really get myself started... wiv blogging...

p/s - i can't imagine i'm doin tis... hey ppl... i'm blogging... hahaha...